I am so glad you got to read the book.  How strange was your mother's attitude concerning it though? 

My Christian sister says, "Oh my DOG!" which is rather funny, but it is still a substitute, isn't it?  I am sure though that God appreciates our efforts to not take his name in vain, substitute or no substitute.

God bless,

Minty.

xo.. churches offer free bibles to children, if they have them , that church family isnt using any more.I know we have a table in our church, when familys have moved on  w. age ( children get older ) they place them out-for others to grab & take  for use..even take  home :)

  i dont think jack would get upset , would he ? its his choice to not belive right now.. but i think  by law.. the children are the moms religion.

I remember that(maybe thats just usa) when i was dating howie( gosh,. I was 20), and he was jewish. I remember , they didnt even practice the religion.. they gave 'gifts for christmas, never even placed a minura(sp?) up. anyways . His mom  DEMANDED when we get married, those kids will be jewish.."..Now I found the Lord at age 17(not important, i lost 'it ' with howie at 20)I remember speaking to a priest at this time, if..if. we got married...  he said   law is, the children will be brought up  what the mom is. now married or not.. these children are your blood..so :P

 anyways .

I do not allow that in my home either.."Oh my god'

 emilys lil friend livie says that .and she knows now, when she is in my home.. ' oh my gosh..''.. or  ' oh pickles '..

 I had explained that to emily best that we can to a 4 yr old(back when she knew we dont say it )..

im sorry, but even when the  kids say  ( livie does )."oh darn it ''.

again.in my home,  she has learned we say " Oh rats ''.

 emily out of no where said to me  maybe 4 nights ago at the table. 'Mommy, adam (her cousin)said we cant say 'dam'..''

i thought....ok. " i  asked what happened ..and she  said she was talking a bout a beavers dam (telling him a story).. so she had no idea past a beavers dam, what ''it'' meant .Obvious spelling dont matetr at this point int his topic..

I had to again, how much can they understand @ age 5 , right nic ?'.I just said theres a bad word that is similar to dam like a beaver honey, but if your talking  about a beaver, its fine.  mommy will explain when you get a lil older '.

idk..

 Im so .. SO proud that  you have share that , and you are the way i am when it coems to words , that the kids dont need to use..

xoxo I found this recently :)

http://gardenofpraise.com/bibleles.htm#jesus

( i click right on ''more stories about Jesus ".. but theres so many :)

  maybe we dont have to use the ink up/by printing,, but just to have the lil ones sit near us, as we read sometimes..xxox

 just thought to  mention it.

gtt.. took a break from the pool closing. taking em forever. :(

xo

~me

[fromthisdayfwd]

  ((((((((((((Nic)))))))))) So glad that the booked help...satan was surely trying to deter you!  YAY you for prevailing!

  Yes, do continue to pray for Jack...I continue to pray for Wayne as well..We KNOW there is much power in prayer!

    Glad that you are feeling on a steady path.

   Much Love and Many Prayers,

             Jewel

Hi there,

I saw your comment in Timmy's diary, where you said you couldn't get into my diary.  I didn't realise you wanted to get in, so I have added you as a new friend.

God bless,
Minty.

I absolutely love it when God comes through in such a timely manner, in such a specific way.  There is truly no other explanation except a direct answer to prayer.  I believe it absolutely makes Him smile to do that, especially when we acknowledge the Source of our blessings.

I pray that He will continue to bless you in every way, Nic.  May He provide for every need in your life, pressed down, shaken together and running over!  Love, Gina

Thanks for letting us know how Sasha is doing! Mild indeed! Sadly, some medical personnel are very hesitant to give God the glory for healing; they want to think it was all them. I have been praying faithfully for your precious girl, and am so thankful that God is healing her.

You know, the enemy always tries to throw our past failures up to us. When he does, remind him of what he already knows, that God is a God of NOW, and a God of the heart. It doesn't matter if you did everything right or not; what matters is where your heart is and the fact that you're trying.

Hope you're enjoying your weekend, sweet Nic, and may God continue to restore Sasha back to total health. Love, Gina

i love this entry . xoxo

 I hope  sashas day at school goes well. :)

 how r u feeling ?

am i ever going to get your  new address ?  :P

send me an email to alwayzeo@yahoo.com, and i'll give you my regular email address in which you had b4 your move..and we'll go from there..if you want. deep inside Im thinking you dont want to , for some reason .Im not  mad at all, just reminding you,  since you have so much on your mind these days .

xoxo

your friend.. Christine

[dissapointedwife]

The other people in Genesis were also descendants of Adam and Eve.  They had other children after Cain and Abel.  The Bible doesn't say how many, but Adam lived to be more than 900 years old!

As my friend Saved by Grace suggested, Cain possibly married a younger sister.  But he also might have married his niece or even his great-niece.  That's my take on things.

(((((((((((((((Nic))))))))))))) I'm glad that you took the positive message from the dream...I miss my mom and am very glad that we were close and had made peace before the end!

    I pray that things work out good between you and your mom and that you are able to share many loving moments.

    Best wishes with finding a church!

   Love you!,

         Jewel

hi..

 a few things..

its not the same, but remember my churches website..  the messages are awsome, and with trust (knowing my location) i have in you, i will give it to you again. I know we have our bible..and hearing just  HIS words arent the same as being in His house, but  even when i relisten to the  messages, it still lifts me up, hearing thru the PC. , but  if that'll help till you do find something ??  It does help when you have people to speak to of our faith , when we dont have it at home. Im sorry .

Please let me know.  They post it usually by the end of the sunday  evening, or the following monday ..

 another thing.. with Sashas school.. Is there any way youd like to just casually mention  to a mom there, of  your looking for a church . if you feel out someone , and know they are Christian-down to earth , we can feel them out ya know.., maybe that would be  helpful - another way to get wind of other churches in the area..?. I know the  distance may be an issue, but i know you have done what you need to in the past to get to places. idk.. hope this may be  helpful.

 i dont have your new email, other wise  I'd  love to link it  to there ( my churches website ).. let me know.

 i know i send stuff to sarah & jet  & michael, so I cant place my email addy  on here, but if you need it again, and have  theirs.. ask them to give you mine agian, if you've forgotten it..and then i will fwd the link to  our church  to you when I hear from you .k.. its there is your interested is all. xoxox

`me

ps.. with offerings..  I do know that there was a week (mid feb I think) our preachers son, he know hold the 11am service, he did talk of the offerings a lil more  then other weeks.. allot of us picked up on this.. But i do know, weekly with out  fliers we are handed in the a.m , telling of prayer requests,  things that are going on in the next week..etc..  it does show our church expenses, and what the offerings were the weeks b4, i do know that  the week b4, not much had been given . They dont pressure, but  its just in our hearts to know..  Preacher bob , and other decans, and office staff, and regular utilities  need to be paid. Again,   we do what we can , when we can . But  at any point when someone feels pressure giving, giving even more , thats not right  and whom ever is in charge of the church needs to  be told people are feeling uncomfortable of   the  'demand '. But our church has never done that .. 

we were told one sunday , of a month ( say this was last month ) the mortgage was   due, and offerings were low..and some how a  church family offered a huge amount one week. IDK if it was won thru a lottery , or some how xtra $$ was brought in to them , they gave to our church , and thays how our mortgage was paid. SO miracles are out  there.  he works in ways we have no idea  are so  powerful.we do, but  we see it more & more , as learn more & more.

ok, enough said for now.just let me know.no pressure. xoxo

gtg.

`me

[dissapointedwife]

This is hard.  I can't really offer much more counsel that what my Christian friends have already said in their comments to you. I went on a church search quite a few years ago now, searching for a church where my needs would be met, and I had something similar to a shopping list:  I wanted solid Bible-based teaching, for there to be a socially active young adults' group, for the church to have small groups, for people to come up to me and greet me without me having to take the initiative seeing as I was the visitor etc.

I searched everywhere, and I was majorly let down at many places, until I found the church that was, for me, home.  Keep looking Nic, you WILL find one, and when you find it, you'll know it because it will feel like home too!  What I did, was to save the page of church ads from the local newspaper (do you have that in America?) around Easter time, then, a few months later, at a time when there was nothing special on, I went on an ordinary Sunday, and checked them out one by one.  I ticked the items off on my mental shopping list, and I found one.  Our church has undergone several changes since then, but we still have solid Bible-based teaching and small groups, where we study the Bible and share with accountability.  If you can find a church like that, you'll be well on the way to finding what you want in a church.  It may take time, but when you find what you're looking for, it'll be worth it.

Oh Nic, we've all seemed to complicate God so much.  Sometimes I wonder if He doesn't just get really fed up with everything that His children have done in the name of Christianity. I'm so sorry you've had bad experiences with churches.

When it's all said and done, you have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and know you've done your best.  You have to be able to know that you have tried in every way possible to be His disciple.  To chase after Him with all your heart.  To love Him above everyone and everything else.  To be salt and light.  To be able to lie down at night, and sleep the sleep of the peace-filled, knowing that the next sound you hear could be a trumpet blast.

It would be so easy for me to stay home and study alone or with my husband, but the Word reminds us not to forsake meeting together with other Christians.  There is a corporate anointing that comes from being together in a group of other believers, worshipping our Maker.  We need each other.  One can put a thousand to flight, and two..... ten thousand.

Don't give up on church.  Somewhere there is the right church for you.  It won't be perfect, but it will be the right fit.  You need them, and they need you.  You have many gifts to share, too.  And your girls need that firm foundation.

Don't quit searching.  Pray about it, and seek His will.  He'll lead you where He wants you to be.

I would echo the words of "commonsensechristian" and say that I've "been there, done that". I actually did give up on church for a month or two at one point in my life.

Satan has two, main goals:  1) To keep people from accepting Christ as their Savior, and 2) To keep Christians from serving Christ. The church is God's currently ordained medium to use to reach the lost for Christ and to strengthen believers. Since both goals of the church are contrary to Satan's goals, Satan will do everything in his power to keep the church from being effective. That is what you are seeing.

So many churches have fallen prey to Satan's attacks and, like the majority of the seven churches in Revelation 2-3, are found lacking. They can take the cult form, put money before God, put leaders' power before God, make up the beliefs that suit them best rather than what the Word of God says, and you can bet that, if a church doesn't do these things, Satan is viciously attacking that church's leaders to get them to fall into temptation. And, because the leaders are only human, they often fall into this temptation.

We are left with very few churches that have teachings that fall in line with the Bible and that exist for the purposes of leading others to Christ and strengthening believers in their walk with Christ. One of those churches may not even exist in your area.

Having said all of that, though, I wouldn't give up. The church, despite its flaws, is still God's vehicle to reach the world for Him, and, like He uses flawed humans, like ourselves, to bring Himself glory, He also uses flawed churches to lead others to Christ and to strengthen current believers in their walk with Christ.

I think the main ingredient in a good church is to find one where the majority of the people there truly love the Lord. Those are the churches God uses the most. They don't serve Him out of guilt; they don't come because it makes them feel good; they aren't there because their family is there or because they like a girl or guy who goes there. They go because they love the Lord with all of their hearts, they want to serve Him, and they go to church to be strengthened in the fellowship of similar believers and to help fellow believers in their walk with Christ. To me, I can tolerate some differences in beliefs and some power struggles in the church if the people there love the Lord.

It may take a while to find a church like that, but keep trying. And, pray for God to give you the wisdom to know when you have found such a church. God loves you and wants you to grow in Him. I believe He will reward your sincere efforts with a church that will help you grow and to be a blessing to others. While I have gotten more out of studying the Bible at home than I have from a preacher, fellowship with other believers is important so that you can "bear one another's burdens" (Galatians 6) and have unity among Christians (Ephesians 4). So, please don't give up.

If you have doctrinal questions, I'd be glad to give my opinion, but it does sound like you have good beliefs already and know which churches to steer away from.

As far as translations are concerned, I think the Message is good to read to get an overall view of what's going on in a particular book of the Bible. But, it is severely lacking in Bible study, because it is a commentary, not a translation. You need a literal translation to learn what the Bible literally says. I use the KJV. It's my favorite. The NKJV and the NASB are also good. Other translations, in my opinion, are lacking. The NIV and NLT are commentaries. The ESV is a literal translation, but it uses minority text, which has flaws. KJV, NKJV, and NASB are the only major translations I am aware of that are literal translations of the majority texts. Thus, making them the most accurate.

Let me know if I can be of any help.

  I wish I could offer you some bit of wisdom that would solve this dilemma for you; but if I could I wouldn't have the same struggle myself. I think we all struggle with this, because no matter where we attend there are people--and people complicate things because we are complicated.
  I hope my sharing about our church's struggles haven't influenced you in a negative way. We are doing our best to work our way thru the differences that some of us have with each other, and especially over the Pastor's methods. It's not easy, but we're trying. Many are falling by the wayside in the process, and I'm not sure they will ever return; which pains me to no end. But we're moving on, and yesterday's meeting will prove to either be the new beginning for our church as a whole or the end for our Pastor's term; I'm not sure which of the two are most likely yet.
  I sure know what you and Terri are both talking about when you say that studying at home is the most enjoyable. Denise and I have the greatest conversations on things of God....and it could quite possibly be enough for both of us to 'live on'; but we're supposed to spend time with other believers and help each other--that's what church is all about. I do my best to try and help those who come to our class learn about how to live that life on a daily basis...and as a class I know we are growing in our walks and growing closer as a family, too.
  If you can't find a church that fulfills that role for you, maybe you can find what we call a 'small group' that does? It may be a Sunday school, or a Bible study, or a ladies' group; but try to find something that helps you, and lets you help others--it's not good to be isolated.
  As for that Message Bible; Denise loves it. We go thru it together, and compare its content with the translations I use. Overall, I find it to be a handy resource; but I don't use it for any deeper studies. Personally, I enjoy reading the Amplified Bible as well as the NKJV. But I read several others also just because there are more than one way to get a message across; and I sort of blend the understanding that comes to me from all of them into my lessons and life.
  You sound like someone who is trying very hard to do the same, so don't lose heart. Keep up your personal studies, and during those times of prayer keep asking God to lead you to a church/group that will provide you with the 'extras' that you need; and let you provide others with them, too.
  Hope that brings encouragement to your troubled heart, and I'll see you around.........Michael

One of the ladies in my Sunday school class said one day "If the devil can't make you bad, he'll make you busy."  So true.

I have learned to multi-task.  Like your ironing while cooking dinner.  Chuck and I get up at 3:30 in the morning (weird, I know) just so we can have time to spend with our Creator. King David wrote O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee:  This way, I don't give God the leftover scraps of my time at the end of the day when I'm exhausted and half-falling asleep!

You just keep doing whatever you can do, to make sure He knows He is first in your life.  If you honor Him, He will honor you.  I know He is pleased with your efforts.  He knows the way is hard.

Be well, sweet Nic.

hi.. how on earth did i not know of this diary ? seems everyone has known..Im a lil mad at myself...Im sorry I must have been reading so fast last yr when you started it, and  read too fast , and missed the name of it when(if ) you mentioned it. Im sorry Ive missed out on what youve written here & only commeting now..

--I can say i do not know you personally, just through mdd we've shared soo much , but i see you have spiritually grown.Im so happy & PROUD of you Nic. I wont go back to what ive just read (enties from last yr )& comment on upsetting things you  had to go thrugh ( I just did  read the whole diary - i had to..lol),  so happy your still going down the beautiful path--staying strong.

--Its so hard when we cant find a church, we have the Holy Spirit, and  we just want the church to complete it, but cant find it ... Im so happy i have found mine, im not going to lie, i feel sad/weird sometimes when i think.what ifs,  which church wud I go to?Wud I continue here ?.. I love my church , and i pray the church you find , you feel right at home.

Youve grown so much  nic, and i need to say reading this diary toay , shows me , i need to read the bible more. Im so busy with the business & house.. i dont find enough time to read.. I wanted to be in your shoes when you are reading the  books of the bible.. I love you & want to say you have helped me today to see I need to read the bible more, take the time to leave the laundry alone, dont worry about the house work..read more.. this was my message today , for me to understand ..so  just to let you know, you've helped me today .

xxoxox

thnx .

love, me

ps.. sorry again, i didnt know of this diary until today..im sorry i passe by this info when you  must have mentioned it last yr when started it .gtg.

((HUGS))

[dissapointedwife]

michael....

this is a bit out of the blue, i know.  but...how do you start your day?

Thanks for the comment, and please keep me updated on your church search. I think you're right on with regard to your belief about salvation and service to the Lord. I think the whole key to understanding scripture comes in rightly dividing it. Those who do not do so can come up with some crazy beliefs sometimes. That's why you can find so many differing opinions about doctrine. That's not to say that all those who divide the Bible like I do will believe like I do, but they will believe the same on the most important issues, I think.

Anyway, it sounds like you are on the right track. I wish you all the best in finding a good church that has its doctrine in line with what the Bible teaches. I don't know how it is in London, but here in California, most churches tend to fall into one of three categories:  1) Social clubs with almost no set beliefs, 2) Legalistic churches that serve the Lord out of fear of losing their salvation, and 3) Grace churches that believe in eternal security but don't serve the Lord much because they are not forced to. The difficulty comes in trying to find a church that believes in salvation by grace through faith in Jesus Christ without having to work to maintain your salvation, while still having such a love for the Lord that most people serve Him with their whole hearts anyway. That is something I haven't found yet. I pray that you will be more successful than me in your search. 

If I can be of any further assistance, please let me know.

God bless.

I guess there wasn't a whole lot that I didn't agree with in terms of the Salvation Army's teachings. I don't think there are a lot of churches that "rightly divide the Word of Truth" (II Timothy 2:15), and the Salvation Army does not rightly divide the scriptures, in my opinion. They believe that you have to continue to work for the Lord in order to maintain your salvation. Hence, their emphasis upon service. I believe that the current times we're living in give us salvation by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, and we have to do nothing to keep that salvation. We should still serve God out of love for Him, but not because we have to.

In order to do anything up front in the service (sing in Songsters, play in the band, etc.), you have to become a soldier. In order to become a soldier, you have to go through a class and sign the Articles of War. In the Articles of War, you agree, among other things, to tithe and not to smoke, drink, gamble, or watch pornography. I believe that tithing was a command to Israel only. It does not apply today. Today, we are to give to the Lord out of a cheerful heart, not because we have to give 10%, because we don't have to. The things that I agreed not to do are no big deal, because I don't do those things anyway. And, the army does have good reasons for requiring them of their soldiers, which I can go into if you want me to. However, it ties into the legalism of having to serve the Lord to keep your salvation.

I guess that's about it. I think it struck a nerve for me because the church I grew up in was legalistic, and I felt like some people at the Salvation Army were trying to work their way toward heaven.

That being said, there were some who wanted to have an occasional drink and wouldn't sign the Articles of War because of that. They could still go to the church and were welcomed there. They just couldn't be up front in the service.

They also don't practice communion or baptism. Those are not big deals to me. So, overall, I very much liked the church. I just didn't want to get caught up in some of the legalistic aspects of it.

I hope you heed commonsensechristian's advice. He speaks words of wisdom that will help you grow in your walk with the Lord.

as you know, i too....play so much tug of war with the discipline needed in this area.  i completely understand.  i've been tending to my pulling in recently too, but for reasons i'm sure you understand, i keep it to myself.

the road michael is on in his second journal has really pulled me in.  have you read it?

I love a challenge, and I have a feeling you do too.

The fact that you are feeling those knuckle raps and responding to them says your heart is still tender and you are listening for His voice.  You really don't have a choice, but to obey, right?

Hi, I read this very quickly, will come back to digest more thoroughly, however, the "kill 'em with kindness" approach really works. It's a relief when a nuisance turns into a friend. You have the power.

Love ya.

we all have work to do hon.  i call myself "a work in progress" all the time.  i get better at some things, and slip up on others, but i never stop trying.

i have been going thru something very similar, with a person here at work.  i wrote about her in my journal already.  her name is winnie, and she's a temp that no one likes simply because she is strange.  and she is.  she's an odd one all the way around.  but they have been all out mean and distant with her, and she's one of the nicest people if you just give her a chance.  so i've had to quit the "chit chat" too...with the regular employees, because i no longer want to be in on, or listen to the putting down or making fun of this woman, and i've made an all out effort to be friendlier to her.  sometimes it's hard, because her oddness silences me and i truly am not sure how to respond to her at times, but for the most part, i find that i am glad to be befriending her.  and truth be told...i feel better for it, even tho i know that's not what it's about.  but to push it a bit further, i think she feels better too, to have someone not be so distant with her.

i don't know.  just wanted you to know, i relate.

 I know that I am doing as well as I am due ot the prayers of others.  I sometimes pray for strangers as well..Little prayers..I think God leads us to who to pray for.

  So glad that you are doing this.

   Love you!,

     Jewel

Wonderful thought!

One year Chuck and I took on a quest of praying for all the people in our neighborhood, every day for one month.  Each day we walked the length of our neighborhood, praying for each household as we passed their house. (There are about 14 houses on this road.)  A few of them we knew, most of them we did not.  I have wondered so many times how many of those prayers were answered.

I like the thought of random people praying for me, and you've inspired me to do more of this myself! Thanks, Nic.

 This was a message meant for me as well! It really helped my faith!

 Much love always,

      Jewel

Dear Nic,

 This is soooooo amazing.  Gave me the Holy Spirit Chills! 

  The Holy Spirit lead you in that specific prayer!

   I too have been praying for Jack!   Sounds like he has seen the light..Has he said anything else about it since the dream? I'm sure that it's on his heart and mind.  Please keep us posted.

  Love,

   Jewel

Amen to this entry dear sister! Thank you for sharing with us how The Lord has and is answering your prayers...I think that if people truly knew how much power prayer holds they all would be praying before getting out of bed.

  I'm so saddened to read about that poor child.  I did say a prayer for her. 

 Glad that I read this entry!

 Glad that you wrote it!

  Love,

   Jewel

Fascinating concept, God working in our sleep. I have a book at home with prayers for husbands... there is at least one that mentions something about "speaking" to our him while he rests. I will look for it later tonight and pass it on.

It's amazing that you see obvious answers to your prayers. Wow.

wow.....and maybe when michael comes on and read this...he have some help answer wise...he's pretty good at that...lol.

the hairs on me would have stood up as well nic!!

beautiful entry...

i haven't heard about this little girl abducted...but i will pray too nic.  and i will keep praying.  will you keep me updated on her situation since i don't think it's something we are getting on news here due to the distance?

and happy mothers day to you!!

Dear Nic,

  I think this entry was very powerful!  I'm so glad to see you writing in this diary..My eyes lit up! 

 This was such a beautiful and moving entry.  Thank you for sharing with us about Jackie- what a positive impact you had on her life because of your Christian Love. A wonderful reminder to us all!

   I remember when I first started Praising God out loud..It felt a bit uncomfortable for some reason..perhaps the reactions that I received from others.  I decided then that it was time that I should be speaking up and out in Praise of our Lord!  Now I say it often, with ease, without thought of how others may react...I say it often.  It feels good..It comes narutally.

  Not sure why I was led to share that...But I was..Praise God!

 I Praise God for having YOU in my life.

  Thanks for keeping this journal and for sharing this part of your journey!

   Love you!,

      Jewel 

Oh Nic, what an awesome opportunity; to be asked by God to minister specifically to someone, like He asked you to reach out to Jackie.  He already knew that her time here was limited.  I think you were the catalyst that allowed her to ask Him into her life; nothing can be more awesome than that.  All He ever asks is for us to be pliable in His hands and allow Him to work through us.  You did that, and now you can be comforted by the fact that she waits for you in Paradise.  What a sweet reunion that will be!

Thank you for this touching entry, Nic.  I loved it.

I have been thinking a lot lately about the Lord's timing. It is perfect. Sometimes it's hard to remember that when you're waiting for a miracle.

Funny, I was once at complete odds with a coworker; she was my superior- at least she thought she was, lol. Every day with her was miserable. Then some wise person said to me, "Kill her with kindness." The plan was win/win, lol. It was amazing to see a friendship spring up between the two of us, just because I decided to "love" her.

As for in laws, yes, I heard the same calling at the beginning of Lent. The message was very clear and the first step was to forgive my father in law- completely.

I like this entry, Nic.

I wish I could invite my non-Christian friends to church with me but most of them hate stereotypical Christians and church. I know I can win them over but only through prayer.

Spiritsfire

wow...nic.

and that's all i will say at this moment.

i'm thinking...lol.

this is going to sound silly....so don't laugh at me...lol.

regarding the finding of the church for you, i was sitting  here at my desk, asking Jesus, "what does she do?  how does she get to the right place to worship?"  and nic....as sure as i was about this one church i couldn't find....i'm just as sure that there is something there you haven't found yet. 

HE will get you there.  i feel it.  keep looking, everyway you can think of.  if it says that worship is important and that we must participate...then he makes it possible too. 

oh nic...on the roy and jack issue....

i know we both want them to "go" with us.  but i've learned how important the beleiving part of it is.  this may sound weird..but you and jack have a better chance, because you are already married, and after beleiveing, and repenting, and baptism, you guys have a fresh start within the Lord. 

for me...i think i will lose roy, because of the bible's wording on divorce and what is accepted after.  i don't think i'm permitted to ever marry again.  (i'm still searching, of course)  but i have to be ready for that....if some other words do not present themselves to show me otherwise.

i will pray my prayers for jack and roy to find this light, because either way, no matter what...only in that light will they be saved.  and within that being saved...we just have to see what's in store for us.  right?

[terriberri]

not only will i send prayers your way on this matter....but i will ask in the church i'm in now...what you are to do?

hang in there girl!!!  lol.

so...you've come across the same readings about how specific the church?

your question about church....

it's a "church of christ".  in places in the bible, i've read about his building it, and of it being headed by "elders", and in timothy it even gives the list of things an elder must abide by.

when i came across these readings, i felt like the one thing i've battled most with when it comes to "church" finally became clear.  WHICH CHURCH IS THE RIGHT CHURCH?  because i certainly don't want to be in the wrong place.  which is why this search for me began last week, and i knew that i wouldn't be attending the church i found last year and have attended.  i now see so many things, that are not practiced like the bible says, in every church i've been in.  so....i'm hoping, and being adamant about watching how this church is, based now on my "knowledge" that i know is true.  i want to be in the right place.

how wonderful is that?

Dear Nic,

   You sound so on Path!  I'm glad that your not allowing Jacks attitude to say you.  You know that I pray for Wayne each day...have for some time..and little by little I am seeing progress.

   Thanks for this insightful entry...It's got me thinking about attending church.

    Much Love,

      Jewel

Dear Nic,

  I'm so sorry that you went through that with Jack..It must have been so disheartening to think that he was opening up to God only to have him say such things.

   I will pray with you on this matter.

   Much Love and heart hugs!,

        Jewel

i am working on the same thing nic.  and it's harder than i thought it would be.  but i'm working on it, by golly!!

this is a beautiful entry....and like you, the roadblocks in my way, will not stop me for the next service.  and i've decided i'm doing sunday services and wednesday evenings as well.  nothing in my way.

Dear Nic,

  I am so excited to be here and to be sharing these thoughts and this journey with you.

   I agree with you that when Jesus is Lord of our lives that we WANT to change, to serve Him, to be better for Him..How much He helps us to do so. 

  I am so moved that you prayed that prayer again.  This is an exciting journey that you are on. 

   I'm on to the next entry!

   Love,

    Jewel

this was in "realdeal"s journal this morning, and i thought it mite help you.

Isaiah 42:16:

    ¹⁶ I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
       along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
       I will turn the darkness into light before them
       and make the rough places smooth.
       These are the things I will do;
       I will not forsake them.

wow nic....i cried all the way thru this entry.  first because of the sureness you've come to beleive with...and how you feel good about it...and then because of the pain that beleif is causing.

i know that feeling of feeling "weird" when you go to reach for your bible, when someone who doesn't beleive the same is watching you.  i know it well.  oh nic....don't give up reaching for it.  that verse at the top of this entry means so to me.....just hang on those words.  matthew, mark, luke, and john, are all very similar....just different accounts of the same thing that happened.  like you....when i read about his death, now it makes me cry.  i never understood it before.  i never understood that he went thru all of that, so that my sins would already be paid for, long before i got here, and all that he asks is that in return, we live by the commandments (after repenting and being baptised).  (if everyone lived by them, can you imagine how different this world would be?)  they are the most pure, wonderful set of rules.  whatever sacrafices we'd have to make to live by them, are not even close to sacrafice already made by HIM.

i feel confused sometimes.  my heart is heavy alot.  but i still know this is the right path now, and i don't want to fail.  hang in there nic!!

Nic,
I am hurting inside for you...I am so sorry for this difficult situation, and how much it must hurt you; words cannot express that kind of pain--so keep moaning towards heaven what is in your heart. I will write you tomorrow with some thoughts, but I'm going to spend time praying for God's help first...your friend, Michael.